My Next Fling
by Mrs.InsaneOne
Summary: Sirius Black has always been anything but serious when it came to relationships. Going through girlfriends the way normal teens go through a box of cereal – often and with large servings. SB/OC, JP/LE, mild language. COMPLETE.
1. The Day Planner

**Disclaimer: **_All HP characters are the property of JKR, the WB, and respective publishing companies - this is nothing more than a simple FanFiction that I have written. I have made no money from this or any of the other stories I have posted on this or other sites._

**Summary: **_Sirius Black has always been anything but serious when it came to relationships. He goes through girlfriends the way normal teenagers go through a box of their favorite cereal – often and with large servings. He'd walk down the studying the girls wondering, 'Who's the lucky girl that's going to be my next girlfriend.' Why were so many girls willing to put up with his lack of commitment? Because Sirius was one of the best looking guys at Hogwarts, he was funny, and he treated a girl like a princess until he said goodbye. _

**AN: **_This story was originally written in response to the 'Out of My Realm' challenge by Timeturner on HPFF and posted on both HPFF. Beta'd by the wonderful__** emenem10. **__The challenge was to write something outside of our comfort zone, or outside of our typical style. I chose to write about a common belief of Sirius Black's behavior in FanFiction that I found rather overdone and unrealistic at the time. The humor can be a bit crude and weird, but I had a lot of fun writing it. I hope you enjoy the story. – __**Jenn**_

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Chapter 1: The Day Planner**

It was a typical morning in the Great Hall, the room filled with a constant rumble of voices, the clicking of silverware against dishes, and scraping benches across the floor as the students and staff alike ate their breakfast. Nearly every student was engaged in an animated conversation, except a handful of Slytherins and a seventh year Gryffindor that sat glassy eyed next to an excited blond girl that was, at the moment, carrying on a conversation all by herself.

"This weekend is going to be so much fun, Sirius, I have our date all planned out. We'll be going on a picnic, isn't that great? Of course it's great! I mean, who wouldn't want to go on a picnic out by the lake? Do you think we should take sandwiches or should we get the House Elves to make us a casserole dish? You're right; the casserole dish would be much more romantic," the blonde rattled off in record time, apparently without taking a breath. "You will, of course, be dressing up in your dress robes and are you going to bring me flowers or candy? I know you'll bring the flowers – I don't need the candy right now because I don't want to get any fatter. You don't think I'm fat do you, Sirius, sweetheart? Of course you don't, you wouldn't be with me if I was fat, would you?"

Sirius rolled his eyes before turning to one of his best friends, Remus Lupin, and making a pained face at him. Remus just grinned wickedly back in reply and leaned around Sirius to address the still talking blonde. "Hey, Meggie, don't forget to have Sirius bring the butterbeer and some ambrosia for dessert."

"Oh thanks, Remus! You're a doll! I would have forgotten, but then you know Sirius – he never forgets anything!" Meggie tossed back before continuing her dialogue of one.

Sirius groaned softly to himself as he set his fork down – his appetite lost – then turned to stare at James Potter, another close friend, who was sitting across from him. James was completely ignoring Sirius though; his attention was focused on one Lily Evans, Head Girl, who was sitting several seats down from the Marauders. Seeing that James wasn't going to provide a distraction, Sirius turned back and mouthed 'Boring' at the smirking Remus whose grin turned smug.

Sirius narrowed his eyes at his friend, before darting a look at the still gabbing blonde beside him. He closed his eyes and gathered his courage before addressing the girl beside him. "Meggie, doll, you'll have to find someone else to take you on your lunch date. I can't go."

"Would you just like me to cancel the picnic then my Snookiedoodle?" Meggie asked as she focused her attention on Sirius for the first time that morning and blinked at him in confusion.

"No, I wouldn't want you to miss out on the fun that such a date can bring you," Sirius replied earnestly as he clasped her right hand in both of his and summoned up a sorrowful expression. He gazed deeply into her eyes. "I've come to realize that I am not good enough for you. You need a wizard who can give you nothing but the best. I'm afraid that I can't give you what you need. Please forgive me for not being the man you deserve."

"But, I don't understand," Meggie gasped as huge tears filled her eyes. "Don't you like me anymore?"

James finally tore his eyes away from his obsession in time to witness what would soon become the complete and total breakdown of the blonde seated beside Sirius. He frowned and leaned close enough to whisper to Remus. "What's going on? Is he breaking up with her already? Isn't it too soon, I mean, he's not been with her for two weeks yet has he?"

"Yes, he's breaking it off with Meggie. And it's only been six days," Remus whispered back as he pulled his gaze away from the emotional Meggie and answered James. "He was muttering something about being bored."

James and Remus turned their attention back to Sirius as he gave his soon to be latest ex-girlfriend his final parting line and goodbye kiss.

"Oh, Meggie, my angel – memories of you will haunt my dreams as long as I walk the halls of this school. I have failed once more to break the curse that has been placed upon my heart," Sirius murmured tenderly, his eyes full of crocodile tears. "Forgive me, my fairy, for I am doomed to suffer through this life without you by my side. Please, may I kiss you one last time so that I may forever remember the taste of your sweet lips?"

Meggie nodded as Sirius leaned forward and brushed the softest of kisses across her lips before he rose to his feet and fled from the Great Hall with a dramatic flair that only Sirius could accomplish. James and Remus climbed to their feet two minutes later with resigned sighs as they watched the now distraught Meggie move down the table to cry on the shoulders of her friends about her early breakup.

"Let's go do damage control," James said as they headed out in the direction they last saw Sirius heading.

It took them several minutes, but they finally managed to track him down in the Library where he was huddled between two large stacks of books. James shared a look with Remus and the two of them sat down on either side of Sirius in silence, the two of them content to let him be the first to speak.

"Let's play a prank on Snivellus tonight, Prongs," Sirius begged when he finally noticed his friends had joined him.

"Sure, okay," James replied slowly. He glanced over at a few of the titles of the books closest to him as he contemplated whether he should ask the question that was on his mind. Figuring it best to get the gruesome details over with, he took a steadying breath and asked, "Want to tell us what happened over breakfast?"

"I couldn't take it anymore," Sirius whined.

"You hadn't even been with her a week, Padfoot," Remus pointed out with exasperation.

"It felt like months! Years, even! All she ever did was talk! Even when I'd try to snog her, she'd not stop chatting! Nothing but Blah, blah, blah, yak, yak, yak, booha blabber," Sirius flung back defensively, his face all scrunched up with a painful expression. "I can't keep track of how many days have passed when I'm being driven mad!"

"Booha?" Remus repeated in barely contained mirth as he glanced between his two friends.

"Maybe you should get a day planner then, to keep track of time," James half joked.

"If only so you get to class on time to cut down on the number of detentions you get each week," Remus added slyly as he reached down and pulled a book out of his book bag. "Just a small one, like mine."

"Hey, that's nifty," Sirius said as he snatched the book out of Remus' hands. "What do you need a planner for though, Moony? You have no life! See, all you have marked down on the due dates for our homework assignments. Who needs that kind of information? I need this more then you do."

"Padfo...!" Remus began to protest in vain, as Sirius pulled out his wand and wiped the planner free of all his carefully inked in entries. He sighed in resignation though as Sirius quickly began scribbling in notes about the girls he'd already dated this term.

James just grinned and shook his head at Sirius' energetic response to the day planner. Ten minutes later the three of them rose from their chairs and began making their way back to the Gryffindor Common Room to gather their books for the day.


	2. Squeezing in a Lunch Date

**Disclaimer: **_All HP characters are the property of JKR, the WB, and respective publishing companies - this is nothing more than a simple FanFiction that I have written. I have made no money from this or any of the other stories I have posted on this or other sites._

**AN: **_This story was Beta'd by the wonderful__** emenem10. **__– __**Jenn**_

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Chapter 2: Squeezing in a Lunch Date**

James growled at the two girls sitting three rows over who were currently giggling through Professor Flitwick's lesson on cleansing charms. The reason for his scowl was currently sitting just under his chair, a tiny scrap of parchment carefully folded into an intricate design – a note. A note that was intended for Sirius, who was smiling and winking flirtatiously at the very same girls.

"Pass it over Prongs!" Sirius hissed after blowing a kiss to the two girls.

"Bugger off," James shot back indignantly.

"Ah, come on James, my love life is at stake here!" Sirius whined as Flitwick tumbled back off his perch of books from the force of his demonstration.

"If I get hit by one more..." James warned as he shook his quill at Sirius.

"I know... you'll see to it that Flitwick gets the note and that he reads it aloud to the class." Sirius grinned as he held out his hand. "Hand it over now please!"

James rolled his eyes and used his wand to summon the offending note from the floor before levitating it over to Sirius' hand. No sooner did paper touch skin then James felt the slight twinge of yet another folded note smack him in the side of the face. Sirius watched as the offending scrap of paper bounce off James' chest and onto his desk before quickly looking back up to meet James gaze. The look he saw in his best friend's face was enough to make the blood drain from his face as he swallowed his laughter.

"Professor Flitwick, sir?" James asked loudly as he raised one hand into the air and wrapped his other one tightly around the offending scrap of paper.

"Prongs!?" Sirius gasped in shock as James loudly drew the diminutive professor's attention.

"James!" Lily Evans hissed at the same time.

"What can I do for you Mr. Potter?" Professor Flitwick asked a second later as he walked closer to James's desk.

"Professor, someone keeps throwing notes around the class. I normally don't take time to disturb you with things like this, but I've been hit by the blasted things at least thirty times." James informed Flitwick as he held out the offending scrap of paper.

"Potter you are an absolute idiot!" Lily groaned as Professor Flitwick accepted the scrap of paper and carried it with him back to his book pile.

"What!?" James asked in confusion as he turned around to stare at Lily's flushed face.

"That was my note that you just gave to Professor Flitwick!" Lily confessed when Flitwick cleared his throat and began unfolding the note as he prepared to read it to the whole class.

"I am so dead." James muttered as Sirius stifled another round of laughter.

"If I can have your attention please class?" Professor Flitwick called from his perch. "It has been brought to my attention that there are several students that are not paying attention in this class. I am shocked to discover this when your NEWTs are less then two months away during a lesson that covers material that will be on your exams. This behavior is most shocking coming from a class full of seventh years." Sirius was no longer making an effort to contain his laughter as Flitwick attempted to be as stern as McGonagall. "Seeing as how you find this incident amusing Mr. Black, why don't you come up to the front and read this letter to the rest of the class."

Sirius immediately swallowed his laughter and gave a panicked look to James who didn't notice his friend's distress – James was still too shocked by Lily's confession to notice everything else that was happening.

"Come on now, Mr. Black," Flitwick ordered as he waved the unraveled note from the front of the class.

Sirius gulped as he rose to his feet, his stomach full of butterflies now that he'd been called on to read in front of the entire class. His hands shook as he took the letter from the professor and he loudly cleared his throat before reading from the letter.

"James," Sirius read loudly, his voice trembling slightly. James whipped his head around to glare at Sirius now, his attention caught by the sound of his name. Sirius looked up, his eyes locking with James as the two friends stared at each other. Sirius smiled wickedly then and turned his attention back to the letter to once more and restarted the letter in a much firmer voice – embellishing the words slightly for more effect.

"_My dearest Jamesy-wamsy,_

_How can I ever forgive myself for denying  
my true feelings for you all these years? Your  
hazel eyes are like sparkling blue diamonds  
and when I see them staring back at me I am  
filled with dreams of moonlit walks._

_Your lips make me think of sweet red wine,  
and I would give anything to sample them just  
once in this lifetime. I hunger for the chance  
to drink of your lips, like the seedling hungers  
for a drop of cool water, knowing that one taste  
will never be enough to quench my thirst. _

_Please, I beg you, say you will accept my  
apology and forgive me for the way I have  
made you suffer through extreme humiliation  
these last few years! Please, for you are my  
heart's desire and without your forgiveness  
I will wilt like a flower without water. _

_Your Loving Lily-Blossom_

_P.S. Will you meet me in the common room  
tonight?"_

Sirius finished with a flourish and a bow as he grinned smugly at the horror struck Lily and disbelieving James. The rest of the class was laughing and snickering at the two of them while Professor Flitwick was trying to take the letter back from Sirius and regain control of the class.

"That is quite enough Mr. Black," Flitwick stated when he finally pried the letter out of the teen's grasp. "You may take your seat. Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans you will both stay behind after class so we may discuss your detention."

"You are so dead!" James whispered violently at Sirius as he took his seat next to James.

"You were going to do the same thing to me!" Sirius snapped back just as softly, his eyes full of indignation as he turned to face James. "I was working on squeezing in a lunch date this afternoon with those two gorgeous Hufflepuffs and you wanted to ruin it for me! This is my love life we're talking about! Besides, it serves you right for not reading the name on the front of the letter before handing it over to Flitwick!"

"I'm going to kill you both!" Lily informed them as she leaned closer. "Potter I can't believe you would turn me in like that! And as for you, Sirius, changing the words was completely uncalled for! I'm never going to forgive you for making me a laughing stock!"

"Lily, please..." James tried to explain, only to be cut off by the ringing of the bell.

"See you two lovebirds later!" Sirius announced as he jetted from his seat. "I've got to take five minutes out of my busy schedule to secure my lunch date that was almost ruined by your antics."

Lily and James both stared murderously after the practically skipping Sirius who was making a beeline for the two giggling girls that he'd been passing notes with during class.


	3. Advance Reservations

**Disclaimer: **_All HP characters are the property of JKR, the WB, and respective publishing companies - this is nothing more than a simple FanFiction that I have written. I have made no money from this or any of the other stories I have posted on this or other sites._

**AN: **_This story was Beta'd by the wonderful__** emenem10. **__– __**Jenn**_

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Chapter 3: Advance Reservations**

Two weeks had passed since James and Lily served a humiliating detention with Professor Flitwick, and both of them had studiously avoided Sirius during that time. Remus tried to keep an eye on the popular and annoying Padfoot, but was quickly reaching his limit of tolerance as he watched him using Peter as a secretary to schedule out future dates.

Sirius was currently lounging gracefully on the wrought iron bench that sat nestled beneath the bare branches of an oak tree. He smiled playfully at the girl standing closest to his perch and waved a finger at her when she smiled in return. Peter was crouched down in front of the bench, in a foot of snow, furiously scribbling the girl's information into the day planner that Sirius had confiscated from Remus.

"Nicole is asking for a ten minute walk and a snog between potions and transfiguration on Friday the eighteenth, that's five days away. You have Megan scheduled to sit next to you during charms, and Joyce during transfiguration, but Judy canceled her potions appointment because she's dropping the class. You have five minutes free time just after lunch," Peter gasped out when the girl standing in front of him began to pout in his general direction.

"Write the dear lady in for her walk and snog, make note that I'll need to leave two minutes early from Professor Slughorn's class to avoid being late to transfiguration. McGonagall is not as forgiving as Slughorn when it comes to making extra personal time. Make sure that whomever you reschedule in for potions is extra cute and knows she'll be shorted by two minutes. I can't have the ladies getting into a fight on my time you know."

"Of course, Sirius, I'll pen it into the book for you. How much longer are you going to push the reservations out till? We've nothing scheduled after the Quidditch match at the end of this month. Do you want to keep at least one day and afternoon free in case you get injured while playing?" Peter inquired as the girl simpered daintily and blew Sirius a kiss goodbye as she walked away.

"No, there is no need to disappoint the ladies by blocking out a whole day. If I get hurt, they can come keep me company while I'm in the hospital ward. Visits will be run on halftime though, so I can fit in more concerned fans and get well kisses."

"Alright, I've made notations in the margins. Class is about to start, do you want me to find your between class snog before the bell rings?"

"Why, how kind of you to ask Peter! That will give me an extra minute and a half in which to gaze at the darlings that have gathered in the courtyard with us! Do hurry up though; it's getting rather chilly out here," Sirius crowed as he beamed at the girls crowding closer.

"What in the world of Merlin is Sirius doing with all those girls?" James demanded as he walked up behind Remus and gawked at Sirius and his fan club.

"Scheduling dates with Peter's help last I checked," Remus replied without looking up from his book. "I hear he's booking one week in advance."

"What?" James exclaimed as he gave Remus a startled look. "When did he start taking advance reservations?"

"Er... about three days ago, when he felt he was being rushed by scheduling on a first come first serve basis," Remus stated with a snort of disgust. "I think he's doing it just to spite you for ignoring him for nearly two weeks."

"I wasn't ignoring him, I was trying to... oh never mind," James started to explain, only to break off in mid-sentence as he watched Peter escort a pretty brunette over to Sirius. "We've got to do something about Padfoot, this is way out of control and he's going to get us caught on the next full moon if he doesn't pay attention to his work instead of the girls."

"True, but try telling him that," Remus pointed out as he closed his book and climbed to his feet. "He's refused to see anyone unless they schedule in a meeting around his dates."

"What!?" James exclaimed for the second time. "You're pulling my leg! Please, tell me you're pulling my leg! He's not gotten that bad has he?"

"Oh, it's much worse then that I'm afraid." Remus clarified. "He's earned himself a new nick-name among the girls."

"I'm not sure I want to know." James said slowly.

"Well, I don't know," Remus countered with a smirk. "Given his present status as the boy with the most dates, I think Fling-O-Matic suits him to a 't', don't you?"

"Fling-O-Matic?" James repeated in a daze as he watched Sirius walk towards the castle in the arms of the brunette while Peter trotted along behind like a faithful puppy. "Yeah, I can see how he might have earned himself that gracious title."

"Indeed. Wonder what they'll be calling him next," Remus mused as the two of them started to follow the mob of girls that trailed after Sirius.

"I'm not that sure I'd really want to know," James insisted as they stepped inside the castle.

"You have a point, Prongs," Remus agreed with a grim chuckle. "You don't suppose he's forgotten about the Quidditch game this weekend do you?"

"I don't know, he'd better not have forgotten about this Saturday's game," James declared tightly as he stopped in the middle of the hall and looked over at Remus. "We've got to do something about him. This is getting way too out of hand."

"That is an understatement, Potter," Lily Evans barked as she walked up to the two boys with an unreadable expression on her face. "If one more fifth year asks me if I've scheduled 'Snog-Time' with Black I swear I will hex her until she wishes her grandmother never swapped spit with her grandfather when they went to Hogwarts!"

"Why, Evans," James exclaimed in shock. "I am shocked, what's gotten into you? You're actually contemplating breaking a rule?"

"You know, James; I'm not even going to dignify that remark with an answer," Lily huffed as she rolled her eyes and stormed off down the hallway.

"Did she just call you James?" Remus wondered out loud as he watched Lily turn the corner.

"I think I'm in love," James whispered in awe as his eyes glazed over and a silly lopsided grin formed on his face.

"Great," Remus sighed before grabbing James' arm and tugging him towards their class. "I'm the only Marauder still in possession of his sanity."


	4. Of Flings and Flames

**Disclaimer: **_All HP characters are the property of JKR, the WB, and respective publishing companies - this is nothing more than a simple FanFiction that I have written. I have made no money from this or any of the other stories I have posted on this or other sites._

**AN: **_This story was Beta'd by the wonderful__** emenem10. **__– __**Jenn**_

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Chapter 4: Of Flings and Flames**

Sirius was walking through the halls with a pretty blonde hanging on his arm. Shortly behind him, Peter trotted along carrying the now sacred 'Date Planner' and a large watch that he continually consulted. Not far behind Peter, walked a group of giggling girls that watched Sirius with predatory eyes and simpering smiles plastered upon their faces. Sirius was oblivious to it all; his attention was focused completely on the dashing fifth year Hufflepuff dangling on his arm.

They were nearly to class when Sirius was shoved roughly to one side of the hall, causing him to step on the foot of girl that had been holding his arm. After gently moving the girl out from under his feet, Sirius turned to glare at the back of the Slytherin who had pushed roughly passed him.

"Oy, Snivellus!" Sirius called mockingly to the familiar greasy haired kid. "I'm sorry that I refused to schedule you in for a dinner date tonight, but I told you, you're not my type. Although, I've been told you look quite charming in a dress."

"Why you..." Snape started to retort only to cut off when James, Remus, and Peter stepped up beside him.

"I believe you owe the young lady and her escort an apology," James hinted as he crossed his arms and glared pointedly at Snape.

Snape glared back in mute fury, refusing to back down and offer an apology.

"Very well then, detention tonight and five points from Slytherin for intentionally starting a fight in the corridor," James stated before calmly walking away from the startled and angry seventh year Slytherin.

"You're just yellow!" Severus yelled across the hall as he raised his wand and pointed it at James's back.

"Think what you want, Snape, but the only time you ever bested me in a duel was when you hit me from behind. You'll never have the courage to challenge me face to face in an honest duel."

"That's because you run to your little friends at the first sign of trouble. You can't stand alone."

"Is that a challenge?"

"Yeah, it is. What are you going to do about it?" Severus mocked viciously.

"Since you challenged me, I get to pick the time, place, and weapon," James mused as he turned to look at the red-faced Slytherin over his shoulder. "I'll see you tonight in the Great Hall right after supper, hope you have a second."

"Don't worry, I'll be there."

Sirius watched as Snape stalked off down the hall before turning to James with a frown. "What just happened here?"

"If you hadn't been so wrapped up in your date of the hour, you'd have remembered that Professor Dumbledore announced that a new dueling club has been opened for Fifth years and above. So, because you've scheduled a full night of leisure, I'll have to ask Remus or Peter to be my second."

"James?" A soft voice called at that moment.

James and Sirius snapped around to see a wide-eyed Lily Evans standing nervously just a few feet away. Sirius's mouth dropped open in shock and would have continued staring if not for Professor McGonagall shooing them off to class. Sirius's attention was pulled away from James and Lily after that when the blonde he'd been walking with wrapped herself around his arm once more and begged him to walk her to class.

"What's wrong, Lily?" James asked as he fell into step beside her and followed Sirius and the blonde towards the staircase.

"He's not going to play by the rules, you know that, right?" Lily whispered urgently as she leaned just a hair closer to James. "I heard him talking about the duel just around the corner; he talked McNair into being his second. Please don't go tonight."

"I didn't know you cared, Lily," James murmured with just a hint of smugness. "He can try all he wants, but Dumbledore and the rest of the teachers will be there tonight. Snape won't dare pull any tricks with adults watching."

"James Potter you know very well how much I care," Lily retorted with a blush as she smiled up at James. "Besides, as your girlfriend, it is my duty to care about what happens to you. All joking aside, James, I do wish you'd reconsider."

"I'll be fine," James insisted as he leaned down and kissed Lily gently.

"You'd better be, because I am not sitting beside your bed in the hospital wing if you get hurt!"

James shook his head as Lily strode off into the classroom, leaving him where he stood with a bemused smile on his face.

"Did I miss something?" Remus asked pointedly as he stopped next to James. "Did she just say she was your _girlfriend_? And do my eyes deceive me or did she just let you kiss her?"

"Yeah, she did – on both accounts," James answered before he walked away from a bewildered Remus and into class.

Sirius quickly forgot about the encounter with Snape and the impending duel between James and the conniving Slytherin. He was too intent on paying court to the numerous fifth, sixth, and seventh year girls that clamored for his attention during the short time they were 'scheduled' into his day. So caught up in what he considered a glorious pastime, he didn't even stick around for the after supper Dueling Club and James's face off with Severus Snape.

In fact, it wasn't until nearly three hours after the battle that Sirius would be reminded of the hallway run-in with Snape. A reminder that was to be provided, quite forcefully, by one seriously angry redhead by the name of Lily Evans.

Sirius was sprawled out on one of the armchairs with his date planner in hand as a dainty sixth year brunette rubbed his shoulders while whispering silkily in his ear. He was flipping through the pages proudly when Lily burst into the Common Room – her face flushed and her eyes glaring murderously at Sirius where he lounged ignorantly by the fireplace.

"You, the floozy with the bad die job, get lost!" Lily ordered with barely restrained rage.

The girl standing behind Sirius flushed in anger and embarrassment as she stepped involuntarily backwards the moment she saw the look on Lily's face.

"Now wait just one minute, Evans, you can't go around ordering my dates around. Each one of them have bartered and paid for their time slots and besides, if you disrupt her time it will eat into the times of the dates I have scheduled after her," Sirius countered indignantly as he straightened up to meet Lily's glare.

"Why you inconsiderate, uncaring..."

"Look, Lily, if you want to schedule in a snog with me, you'll have to get in line with the rest of the girls. I can't just have you barging in here and interrupting my plans on a whim."

"Don't call me..."

"I know you find me irresistible," Sirius cut in once more as he rose from the couch and sauntered over to stand right in front Lily, completely unaware of the murderous look in her eyes. "I've watched you watching me all year long and all you have to do is come see me in the morning and I'll schedule you a turn with the Master of Romance."

"How dare you!" Lily barked as she slapped his face and stepped back. Raising her wand defensively she began venting her fury. "Don't you dare stand there spouting off at the mouth about how good looking you are or how much of a ladies man you are. I ought to hex you into a pulp for what you did to James!"

"Huh?"

"How could you leave him to the mercy of his enemies? You knew he'd stepped in and stopped that fight this afternoon and you didn't even bother to stick around to make sure he survived the duel! I thought you were his friend!"

"What are you talking about?" Sirius growled back as he frowned in confusion.

"The duel? With Snape? You were standing right next to him when Snape challenged him! How could you not remember? Don't tell me your mind has been turned completely to mush by the cheap flings you've been seeing for nearly a month!" Lily spat out cruelly.

"James dueled with Snivellus? He could take that wimp with one hand tied behind his back."

"Oh James won the duel all right, whipped Snape up one side of the Great Hall and down the other before wiping up the floor with him. Didn't even use wands – James had chosen swords as the weapon and Snape couldn't fence. No, the duel wasn't a problem; it was the fifteen Slytherins that ambushed him after the club was dismissed that sent him to the Hospital Wing."

"James is in the Hospital Wing?" Sirius repeated dazedly.

"Great Merlin above, you really are dense! Do you know that, Black?" Lily stated in disgust. "You are so wrapped up in making yourself a name as Hogwarts' first Fling-of-the-Minute that you didn't even notice that James didn't come back from supper tonight."

"James is my best friend!" Sirius cried in self-defense. "I didn't leave him high and dry on purpose, I had a full evening schedu..."

"That's it! I can't take any more!" Lily declared as she threw her hands up in the air. "_Accio planner_. Say good-bye to the book, Sirius."

"No! Please, don't hurt the planner! What's it ever done to you?"

"Grow up!" Lily spat as she lit the day planner on fire and banished it to the fireplace.

"_No!_" Sirius wailed in sorrow as he rushed to the fireplace in an effort to save the burning book. By the time he reached the hearth though, the book was nothing but a pile of fine ash. "My poor date planner."

"It's going to be 'poor Sirius' in about five minutes if you don't get your butt down to the Hospital Wing right this minute and apologize to James for not being there to get your butt kicked by the Slytherins who kicked his," Lily pointed out as she leveled her wand at Sirius.

"You wouldn't dare!" Sirius countered in disbelief.

"Wouldn't I?" Lily shot back. "You have to the count of ten. One... two... three..."

Sirius gaped at her dumbly until she reached eight before he bolted out of the portrait hole and ran all the way down to the fourth floor. Lily smirked triumphantly as she lowered her wand and sauntered over to the fireplace.

"Remind me to never make you mad," James murmured in awe as he slipped off his invisibility cloak and followed Lily over to the fireplace.

"He earned it," Lily stated as she waved her wand over the small pile of ashes. "He was getting on my nerves and he should have been there to see you whip Snape in a spectacular duel."

"I thought you were going to kill James when he announced his weapon of choice," Remus added as he crept down the stairs from where he'd been hiding.

"I thought he'd lost his mind," Lily muttered as she prodded the ashes a couple of times.

"Dad taught me to fence the moment I was big enough to hold a saber, he thought it a more civilized way to duel then swapping hexes and jinxes. Plus he is a big one on being prepared, 'Never know when you'll be caught without a wand and a prayer' as my father always says," James explained as he joined Lily at the fireplace. "What are you doing?"

"This," Lily explained as she flicked her wand one last time. Slowly the ashes transfigured back into the 'date planner' that Sirius had thought was lost. "Never know when it might come in handy."

"You are truly evil, you know that, Lily?" James said as he looked at Lily as though for the first time. "I think I like you that way."

"You say that now; just wait until you are on the receiving end of yet another one of her revenge schemes," Remus predicted.

"I'll just have to stay on her good side from now on then, won't I?" James countered as he pulled Lily close to him and kissed her gently.

"We'll see how long that lasts," Remus remarked to the air as he picked up the day planner from where Lily had set it.


	5. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: **_All HP characters are the property of JKR, the WB, and respective publishing companies - this is nothing more than a simple FanFiction that I have written. I have made no money from this or any of the other stories I have posted on this or other sites._

**AN: **_This story was Beta'd by the wonderful__** emenem10. **__– __**Jenn**_

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Chapter 5: Epilogue**

Two and a half weeks had passed by since the staged death of the 'Date Planner' and Sirius could be found moping outside in the courtyard surrounded by nothing but the cool night air. He hadn't spoke to his fellow Marauders or Lily once since that night. He was beginning to miss hanging around James and Remus though, almost as much as he missed the attention of the girls that used to flock around him begging for his attention.

Where were all those adoring fans? They had been frightened away by the vicious Lily Evans; she'd threatened to hex any girl who so much as fluttered her eyelashes at Sirius. At first Sirius thought that maybe the fiery red head had a thing for him, but all too soon it became apparent that Lily was smitten with James. This only served to deepen Sirius's anger towards the Head Girl.

"Stupid girls," Sirius muttered as he kicked a small rock and watched it skid across the stones that lined the courtyard. He was about to send a second rock flying after the first when he happened to catch a glimpse of a pretty fifth year sitting at the edge of the courtyard with what could only be a group of her friends. He unconsciously smoothed his hair down, dusted a few imaginary specks of dust from his robes, and took two steps in her direction – only to stumble to a stop as James and Lily strolled into the courtyard.

"Hey, Padfoot," James greeted eagerly as he caught sight of Sirius standing off to one side.

"Prongs," Sirius returned stiffly, carefully averting his eyes from the blatant show of affection that the happy couple flaunted in his presence.

"Good afternoon, Sirius," Lily prompted warmly when Sirius didn't immediately acknowledge her.

Sirius simply growled under his breath and moved off towards the pretty little fifth year without bothering to even look at Lily.

James frowned at his best friend and opened his mouth to comment on his manners when Lily stopped him with a hand on his arm. Lily then smiled up at James before following Sirius. Sirius was only a few yards away from his targeted conquest when Lily's voice stopped him short.

"Are you sure you're ready to start dating again Sirius?"

"I never wanted to stop," Sirius pointed out snidely as he half turned to glare at Lily.

"True," Lily said, "but you have to admit that you weren't ready to handle the stress of dating either."

"Can't say I know what you're talking about," Sirius barked out as he inched closer.

"She is quite a cute little thing isn't she?" Lily inquired as she studied the group of kids that Sirius was trying to approach. "She's nearly cute enough to call beautiful isn't she?"

"She is a budding young lady," Sirius stated simply, his hands smoothing his hair down a second time.

"Doesn't she remind you of Jessica Saunders?" Lily asked innocently.

"Yeah; long, blond hair that was as soft as silk. Bright, blue eyes that turned luminous when she stared at me just before I kissed her," Sirius murmured tenderly as he closed his eyes and pictured the girl in question.

"Ah, yes, that's the one," Lily agreed hesitantly, "but what else did you say about Jessica?" Here Lily dug down into her book bag, pulled out a familiar book, and quickly flipped through its pages before clearing her throat and reading aloud. "Two fifteen, April seventeenth; Jessica Saunders – A walk between classes and a kiss goodbye at the door."

Sirius gaped at the day planner in Lily's hands, a faint ringing sound building in his ears as she read one of the hundreds of entries that had been scheduled into the book the previous month.

"I saw you burn that!" Sirius hissed in fright as Lily continued to read from the book.

"Notes: Jessica giggles too much and has a tendency to snort when she laughs at stupid jokes. She kisses like a wet dog, -"

"Lily, please!?" Sirius whined as he tried to grab the book from her hands.

"- I would rather not have her scheduled in again. I don't like sloppy kisses." Lily finished as she whirled out of Sirius's reach.

"Don't read anymore!" Sirius begged as he hurried after Lily, his face deathly white as all of the students in the courtyard turned to stare at him. "I'm begging you!"

"Do you still want to ask that fifth year out?" Lily countered as she hid the book behind her back and studied the desperate look on Sirius's face.

"Of course I do! She's a fine looking bird," Sirius admitted without an ounce of shame.

"In that case, here's Rebecca McFarland – scheduled for a lunch date on April twenty-second," Lily announced loudly as she opened the book once more. "Your notes: Becky is a little too plain; she stares too much and tries to talk while I am eating. Her kisses are sweet, but I need someone who is more in tune with who I am. Do not schedule again."

"Are you trying to get me killed!?" Sirius demanded as several girls glared at him from where they were sitting. "All I want is some company because you stole my best friend!"

"So, you'll just pick some pretty face, snog her once or twice and dump her the minute a prettier girl comes along?" Lily spat back as she snapped the book shut and gave Sirius a glare of her own.

"Of course, what else would you have me do?" Sirius answered without thinking.

"Wrong answer," Lily growled as she flipped the book open once more. "Riley Newman - scheduled for a break time walk on May third. Notes: Her hair is too short and she has no figure, I couldn't snog her because it was like trying to kiss a boy."

"I am so dead," Sirius groaned in defeat as he buried his face in his hands. "Why me?"

"Sirius, don't you see how shallow and how cruel you've been to all these girls?" Lily asked softly as she tucked the book back into her bag. "I only threatened you because you were treating them all wrong – it wasn't fair to them or to yourself. Do you truly want to go out with someone and have a relationship? Or are you just interested in snogging a pretty face?"

"What do you mean?" Sirius wondered as he glanced up enough to meet look Lily in the eye.

"Would you like to go out on a real date?" Lily tried again.

"What kind of date and with what girl?" Sirius asked in reply.

"Why don't you ask Amanda Johnson to go with you to Hogsmeade this weekend and the two of you can double date with me and James."

"But Amanda wears glasses and she has freckles!" Sirius complained.

"Why does it matter what she looks like?" Lily snapped back, her patience growing thin. "Can't you go out with a girl for who she is instead of what she looks like? Don't you think there is more to a woman besides her face?"

"You're crazy!" Sirius cried before running back inside the castle.

Lily shook her head and sighed as James walked up behind her and wrapped her in his arms.

"I don't think that went too bad," James announced after a moment.

"He's too stubborn for his own good," Lily pointed out as she leaned back into James's embrace. "Do you think he'll come around?"

"He might, you gave him a good scare you know," James answered with a chuckle. "You should have seen the look on his face as you were reading those entries out loud. I thought he was going to hex you!"

Lily snorted and shook her head before pulling out of James' arms and catching his hand in hers. Together they headed into the castle as the bell rang to signal the end of their break.

When Saturday arrived, James and Lily could be seen walking towards Hogsmeade followed by Sirius and Amanda, the four of them chatting happily about the upcoming holidays, Quidditch, and the end of term exams they had taken the day before.

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